I don’t need to put my head in her lap to find the long lost silence of my thoughts, i find it in the thoughts belonging to her who lives miles apart.
I don’t need her lips joined to mine to burn every blood vessel in my nervous system, because now she brings this curse of poetry out as art.
I don’t need her arms wrapped around me neck to make me feel less lonely, her hallucinations keep my forebrain busy as well as it’s counterpart.
I don’t need a burden on my chest and sorrow in my throat to keep me from even speaking when i need to scream, our one and only picture together does that to me as i watch my ability to think or reason depart.
I can work with a not now, if only there was a forever to wait for, i don’t need you to be by my side to love you… I can do that from lifetimes apart.
I am not your clichéd heartbroken guy who has given up all hope to be saved and now writes to ease his pain…
I was an idiot to get addicted to things such as her smile, when she was annoyed, her chuckles on my stupid jokes, the gaze of her dark brown eyes and putting her hair strand behind her ear, while turning my boiling blood to ice, in an instant.
These poems and verses are just products of my withdrawal symptoms…
They don’t even ease the pain anymore… if that’s what you think.
My heart pumped, as if you were playing drums with my heartbeats.
My blood rushed, as if you were playing a violin with my arteries.
My throat felt the tremors, as if you were playing a flute through my lips.
And your composition is a story I’ll never gather the courage to perform.
”I haven’t felt that kind of rush in a while, My imbecile heart hasn’t pushed blood in those arteries for a long time now, its chocked from all the residues of the time long gone.
My arteries are those rusted dry tunnel which leads only to deserted ruins; i am beyond saving…” i said describing my hopeless situation.
She turned towards me and said “you won’t be doing it alone, i promise you that” in her soothing voice. “And you think you can undo all this mess, and some how join me back again? ” i said, doubting the possibility of any light at the end of tunnel.
she then kneeled as she wore her ghungaroos, gently placed her hair strands behind her ear, standing up with her golden eyes gazing upon me; taking her stance.
Ever thought how a water Dam feels when it’s shattered like a windowglass by the flow of a colossal river inside out, that’s what i’am feeling right now..
I try not to remember you, but i never found the pair of lips that could destroy me like yours did.
I try not to remember you, but i never felt that compulsion to drown in the eyes of any other woman.
I try not to remember you, but even after dating girls with different length of hair, none brushed against my face peeled off my straight face into a smiling one.
I try not to remember you, but i never felt the lust for woman even half naked, like i did for you in your grey suit and open hair.
I try not to remember you, but i never found a smile that could even parallel the feeling of wholeness like yours did.
I try not to remember you, but even a penthouse on the 70th floor couldn’t make me feel like home, like your thin arms wrapped around me did.
(@paper.folded.squirrel_poetry on instagram)
Picture courtesy : Trishita Bhattacharya
(@Overrated_outcast on instagram)
All the toxicity I solely contain, your oceans aren’t enough in to drown, All the havoc i harbour does not kneel to your crown.
The blackness in my Monochrome flashbacks cannot be washed away by your colorless rain, You smile the whole time and let people force you in thier psychological chains.
You were meant to follow you big dreams atop the constellation of all the stars, And here you are holding your tears and hugging your self forged prison bars.
Wish me luck that could atleast die without the permission of these mortal hypocrites, No matter what you do with my body bury me like an evidance or burn me like a wood in ones final rits.
Alas i will leave this world of a single soul mate and people with two faces, A hungry pack of cards with more jokers than aces.
I knocked twice on heaven’s door, and both the times you asked me to go away,
I asked nothing but your hand to hold on to, you gave me your ever echoing voice in my head and left me with nothing to say.
I tried to cross the bridge where water didn’t pass under of, Over the half moon the moonlight started to leak in the sky and stars started to fell of.
Another endeavor i began only once yet failed a million times,The furious wind flew through; yet no sound made by my shining wind chimes.
I came back where i left off and found tree which i didn’t seed,You kept saying that you weren’t involved but expressed the branches and the leaves it breeds.
I am not saying that it something that you did commence, but your smell in its bark doesn’t sound like a coincidence.
We went our different ways and i pass by the heaven’s door again,Didn’t knock this time neither i nor the door havr yet recovered from the pain.
I kept walking but i can still hear you sing and breath, You are a dagger i keep stabbing myself with but never mistakenly seath.
For all the chaos there may be this order isn’t sufficient,If it cannot bring us together without the realities being bent.
Being made up of darkness i loved a materialization of light.I ran away from this feeling as i lost all the willingness to fight.
I urged every power to rescue me from this cycle of heaven and hell,For i sinned as a demon i chose for an angel to fell.